Blogging is extremely popular with the younger generations. Blogs can be both disturbing and helpful in giving parents a glimpse into their child's mind.
Reading your child’s blog or other publicly accessible forum should be approached with caution and a high dose of skepticism. Writing on the internet tends to give youngsters a feeling of anonymity, so a lot of very ugly ‘truths’ may be revealed. Also, despite being eager to head into adulthood, a lot of childish fantasies are still being explored as well, creating a mix of truth and fiction within these public diaries. Don’t believe everything you read.
Parents are advised to remember that these writings are a snapshot in time and may not represent the overall views of your tween or teen. Try, too, to keep in mind that most pubescents are going to feel a certain amount of gloom, doom and despair that is a fairly normal part of this phase of their development. Reading a child’s despairing blog page after page can be quite distressing, but scanning their entries can also provide insights and an avenue for better understanding. Look beyond the anger or sadness to the underlying causes. This can be a foundation for more sympathetic talks and other interactions in the future.
Talking with your child about something you've read on their blog should be approached with as much serenity as can be mustered. Upsetting as some of their words or phrases may be to you, the younger generation has a difficult time sorting fact from feeling and their writings will most likely express their confusion in grossly exaggerated ways. There is also a tendency to view what are usually publicly accessible forums as private territory or otherwise not intended for parents' consumption. Explain calmly that anyone can view their posts besides their friends unless they place certain blocks on their site if available.
If you have circumvented their security measures, you have a moral obligation to explain why you have violated their privacy and should be fully prepared to provide evidence other than the blog entries as to why you have taken such drastic measures to check up on them. Provide concrete reasons for whatever concern has caused you the parent to take such a drastic step. Yes, you are their parent and have a right to do what is necessary to keep them safe. But you also have an obligation to provide a good example. Violating someone else's privacy, even your own child, does not place you in good light. They will call you on this moral hypocrisy every time.
Disturbing material, like expressing suicidal or homicidal desires, should definitely be addressed of course. While a certain amount of angst is normal during the tween and teen years, deeply disturbing thoughts and feelings can lead to tragedy, as can be witnessed by various news reports. In these extreme cases, if your offspring refuses to speak about such horrible ‘secrets’ with you, seeking therapy or other intervention may be in order.
With the exception of these severe cases, the important thing to remember is that everyone has a right to their opinion. Adults can become just as confused as their children when it comes to handling changing views, disturbing thoughts and other emotional morasses. Expecting children, even as they grow into adults, to navigate such tricky territory is unreasonable. Juveniles are not only learning how to expand their minds and hearts but how to nmake their way in the rapidly changing world around them. A hefty dose of tolerance can make life run a little less roughly, especially if the child’s emerging ideals run counter to how they’ve been raised. Best to remind yourself that this is a phase and likely to pass. But keep tabs on them and talk directly with them when possible to hopefully avoid any true disasters.
And don’t believe everything you read.
