Tweens and Their Music Choices
How to Approach the Subject of Objectionable Songs and Lyrics
There are good songs, than there are songs that just make you cringe, especially if your tween is listening in. Find out how to talk to them about good music choices.
Your tween is at the age where she is trying to express her thoughts and feelings more. During this time you will notice that your child will begin to have very strong ideas about what she wears, her friends, what she watches on television, and the kind of music she listens to. It is true that today’s kids are exposed to much more than ever, and as a parent, you are the one that has the ultimate say over what your child watches on TV or listens to on the radio. If you notice your tween listening to what you deem as objectionable songs, then you need to speak up. Here are some ways to communicate with your tween about making good music choices.
Listen For Yourself
The first thing that you will want to do before you talk to your tween about the type of music she is listening to is to actually sit down and listen to the music yourself. Ask yourself what you find objectionable about the music. Maybe it is the words that are being used or maybe it is the sound of the music. Interestingly enough, there are plenty of songs out there that sound rough, but when you actually listen to the words of the music you will find that they are not bad at all. When you pinpoint what you do not like about the music by listening to it, then you can more easily talk to your child about her music choices.
Have a Frank Discussion
Next, you will want to be honest and open about why you dislike the music. Simply telling your child, “You can’t listen to this because I don’t like it,” will not be good enough for your tween. If you find the lyrics suggestive or the message derogatory, then say so. You need to tell your tween why you find the music does not match your values and stick to your guns. If you don't do this, you may find yourself in a power struggle for many years to come over controlling what your child sees and hears.
Find a Compromise
After you talk to your tween about objectionable music, then it is time to find a compromise. It is unreasonable to think that your child will always want to listen to The Wiggles or the oldies music that you like. You need to do some research and find music that is appealing to your child and acceptable to you. Radio Disney is a great place to start, and the music they play is geared towards tweens. You might also find a good radio station that plays current, yet cleaner music.
You can’t always control what your child listens to, but you can make sure that your child knows your feelings and values when it comes to lyrics of songs. Hopefully, when she is left alone, she will have the strength to make good decisions and not buckle under peer pressure.
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