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Listening takes at least two people; one to talk and the other to hear what is being said. Are you listening to your tween when she talks? Here are some tips to help.
You spent your child's preschool years listening to made-up stories, advice from the mouth of a preschooler, and rambling on and on about favorite TV shows. It was cute and entertaining. Now your child has grown into a tween and the conversation is like pulling teeth. When you ask questions, you are lucky if you even get eye contact or a nod of the head. Take heart, you are not alone. The tween years present many new challenges for both your child and the family as a whole. Instead of wearing anything you pull out in the morning, you have an assertive decision-maker who wants to wear baggy jeans and short skirts. Instead of listening to music that is coherent, you have a rock star that wants to hear screaming all day. And, instead of having a nice leisurely conversation, you have a turtle that stays in its shell, seemingly wanting to be ignored. There is no more important time to keep the communication lines open then during the tween years. Your child is faced with so many struggles, including peer pressure, keeping up heavier school workloads, extracurricular activities, and others. If you do not communicate with your child, she may feel like she is carrying all of this alone, and why should she when you can help? Here are some tips for listening to your child:Be understanding. Put yourself in her shoes and think about how she feels. How did you feel when you were her age? Approach subjects with a caring attitude. Your tween has feelings, and though you know these phases are temporary, she is living in the now and reality is here. Listen intently. Whether she admits it or not, your tween needs someone to lean on. Show your interest and listen with your ears and eyes. We sometimes get in the habit of random listening and your tween can sense this. It doesn't help so much for you to talk at them about what they should or shouldn't be doing, but engage in an interactive conversation and hear her side on issues. Be prepared. You know you have a good relationship with your tween when she can talk to you about anything. Be prepared and do not fly off the handle, if she mentions things about sex, drugs, dating, etc. These opportunities are presenting themselves at this age, and if your child cannot turn to you without you remaining calm, you can just assume that the conversations will stop. There is no big secret to having a great relationship with your tween. Communication is the best thing you have going for you. If you show your child respect, she will want to share with you. Listen, even when you don't want to. Not only are you showing your concern and love for her, but you are making memories that you will cherish forever. Related Articles
The copyright of the article Tips on Talking to Your Tween in Tween Communication is owned by Denise Oliveri. Permission to republish Tips on Talking to Your Tween in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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