The Youngest Child in Birth Order

You know how it will all turn out. One day your children will be best friends as adults, with any luck. Leading up to that point can be a nerve-racking experience, not only for you, but also for your tween who is the youngest in the family. Chances are she may be feeling left out and abandoned by her older siblings, and though you try to comfort her, it is something she will have to outgrow with time. Here are some tips for making your youngest still feel confident about herself.

A Reason to Grow Up

Often times the youngest child in the family will have a tough time transitioning through natural stages of life, like acting as mature as her peers as she gets older. She may act childish and clown around a lot. The problem stems from the fact that everyone in the family calls her the "baby of the family," and through the years she had no reason to believe otherwise. When parents make all the decisions and siblings taunt her about being a baby, she truly comes to believe it no matter what age she is.

You can make it easier for your tween to make a transition to acting more mature by giving her more responsibilities around the house. If you have given chores to the older children, and have nothing left to assign to the youngest, hand over some of the already-assigned chores to her or create some new jobs. She will appreciate feeling like she is contributing to the family, and it will help her mature overall.

Make Her Opinions Matter

A lot of the time the youngest child feels like she has no sensible contributions to family conversations or family decisions. She wants to give her opinion on family matters, but is afraid no one will take her seriously. This problem arises from the fact that ever since she was little people laughed at her cuteness and the funny things she said, and because she is the youngest, she has no one smaller to do the same with. She cannot relate to this situation because she is the last in line.

Give your tween the chance to speak up, and make it perfectly clear to older siblings that everyone's opinions matter in the family. Even if her opinion is out of order or silly, praise her for contributing. You should also let her know that not everyone's opinions are chosen, and that sometimes hers will not as well. But, if you are deciding where to eat one night, let her opinion be the reigning champion. Big deal if it's McDonald's or some other fast food restaurant.

Siblings Need to Get in the Picture

Older siblings often times do tend to "leave out" the youngest child in fun activities. Sometimes they do it on purpose, and other times it is just the nature of the activity they are involved in. Try to encourage your older children to make special time with the youngest child. It could be something as simple as suggesting to play a board game, teach her how to do something new and cool, or take a walk around the neighborhood. A parent can suggest a million fun things to do with the youngest child, but it is nothing compared to the feeling of being accepted by the older kids.

It's hard being the youngest child, especially when there are three or more kids in the family. While much of the struggle to be heard and taken seriously seems like a constant uphill battle for your tween, you can do things to make the climb easier. Make sure the whole family is on board to helping the youngest feel like she is a part of the family, and she is maturing with each passing year.

Find more Parenting Tweens articles on Suite101.

Birth Order & the Youngest Child

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