Sex Education for Tweens

Tweens today are faced with so many things that push them to act more mature than they really are. The media targets our tweens unmatched with any other time in the history of advertising. They learn about sex, are exposed to pornography, and face peer pressure constantly...and they are not learning it correctly. Everywhere they turn, sex is being portrayed as okay and natural. If parents do not start talking to their tweens about sex education sooner, there very well may be consequences later.

Statistics

Each year, almost 750,000 teenage girls between the ages of 15 to 19 become pregnant (Guttmacher Organization, September 2006). This is partly due to the fact that most parents have a hard time talking about sex education with their own children. But, don't wait until your tween is a teenager to talk about this or when something drastic has already happened. It is a good idea to start this conversation with children between the ages of 11 to 13 because middle school is just a building block to high school behavior. Learn about what your child might be learning in high school years during sex education to give you some pointers for now.

The highest rate of sexual activity in tweens and teenagers happens in June and December. These are times when tweens have the most unsupervised free time because of winter break from school and summer vacation beginning. (Journal of Marriage and Family, November 2002)

Teach Your Child to Say "No"

Teach your child that it is okay to say no to sex. There is no doubt that the first time your tween is confronted with the opportunity to have sex that she will feel scared. Tell her that this is a good feeling, warning herself to say no. Sex is something that should be put off until marriage. It means much more to have this coming from you, a parent, than from a teacher during sex education in school who does not really know your individual child's feelings. This is a personal issue, not a classroom issue. Don't leave it to the school system to solely direct your child in this matter.

Boys Feel Pressure Too

Don't be fooled that the boys are the ones who always push girls into having sex. Boys are feeling the same pressures as girls to keep up an acceptable reputation with their peers. It usually all boils down to the fact that kids are feeling insecure about themselves, and they just want to feel some kind of acceptance from the opposite sex. Both boys and girls may be hoping deep down inside that eventually someone will love them because of their physical actions. They mistakenly substitute sex for love, when they really long for someone to love them for who they are as a person. Boys need a man-figure (father or other trusted adult) to talk with them about sex education, as well.

Teaching Retorts

Here are some examples to teach your tween to say when confronted by a possible sexual situation:

• "You don't know how to have fun."
• "Yes, I do; I've had a wonderful evening. Let's leave it at that."

• "I love you so much that I want to give you something more."
• "Give me your self-control, and let me keep mine. I want to get to know you more, but not physically."

• "Everybody does it, you know."
• "I'm not everybody."

• "I will take care of you and not leave you afterwards."
• "Thanks, but I can take care of myself for now."

• "You're just scared."
• "Of diseases, yes. I think it is a big mistake."

Tween boys and girls

Print Article

Email Article

View All Articles

How to subscribe to feeds