Helping Twin Tweens Be Individuals
When Your Twosome Wants to Be Known Apart From Each Other
It is so easy to associate everything twins do as a twosome. Many tweens want to be individuals, and not stuck in the twin rut all the time. What can you do? Read on...
The old saying goes that twins are a blessing, and they are. At a very young age twins become very close and love spending time with one another. They share a tight-knit bond that they will have for life. Little twins look so cute dressed alike, too.
However, when raising twins parents do have to be very careful. They may look alike, but they are individuals. Each child has her own needs, wants, and preferences. This becomes most apparent as they reach the tween years. Here is how you can help your tween twins become the individuals they are.
Let Them Express Their Opinions
It is easy to assume that twins will think the same or want the same things. However, this is not always the case. As a parent, take the time to let your twins express their own opinions. Never assume that because one sibling wants a pink shirt that the other will want the same. Don't assume anything to be on the safe side.
Never Compare
Another good tip is to never compare your twins with one another. It is all too easy to do. After all, they look alike, and they are the same age. It is true that they may have some of the same strengths and interests, but you should not compare your twins to each other. If one gets good grades in math, the other may not.
It is devastating for your twins to constantly be compared to one another, so start treating them as individuals. They face enough competition at school and in social situations that they don't need to be burdened with competition with each other, as much as possible.
Let Them Find Their Own Interests
When twins are young, it is easy for you to automatically sign them up for the same exact activities and programs. However, as your twins get older, it is important that they begin exploring their own interests. One may find that she loves soccer, while the other loves ballet. It will not suit them, or you, to force them to conform to one another. Give them some space and let them find their very own interests and passions.
If running all over the place to have them both in some type of activity is a hassle, let them each choose a season that they like, and that way you don't have to worry about conflicting schedules. For instance, ballet in the spring for one and soccer in the fall for the other.
Allow For Some Separation
It may not be possible for your twins to have their very own space, but if you have room in your house, the tween years are a perfect time to let them have their very own rooms. Let each twin help you decorate her own room so they will both be happy. If you cannot let them have their own space, then divide the room in half and let each one decorate their own half of the room.
Along with this is that fact that your twins will also want some separation at school. It is a good idea to talk to your school and find out what they normally do with twins. Some will be perfectly happy being in a class together, but if you want your children to grow as individuals, request that they are put into different classrooms at school.
Your twins are individuals and they will appreciate the effort you put into treating them as such. You never know what they can accomplish until you give them space to get to work.
Find more Parenting Tween articles on Suite101.
